


Carrots Love Tomatoes

by rev_lady_mal



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, garden catalogs, tomatoes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:59:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6129895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rev_lady_mal/pseuds/rev_lady_mal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Based on a real seed catalog I received in the mail.   http://www.totallytomato.com/</p></blockquote>





	Carrots Love Tomatoes

Romano watched out the window impatiently for the mail carrier to arrive. He glanced at the clock on the wall, then back out the window getting more irritated by the second. “Damn it, where the hell is he?” He spat out angrily, looking at the clock again. “He’s fucking late!” Romano fumed and looked at the clock a third time, and then back out the window. Of all the days to be late, when he had waited so long for it to get here … He just had to get to it before Spain did.

Just then the postman came into view and made his way up the sidewalk toward Spain’s house. “About fucking time!” Romano almost shouted, and then ran to the front door, waiting for the mail to fall through the slot. His palms became sweaty and his heart raced as he watched the mail come in and hit the floor. Among the bills, mailers and letters was a glossy paged catalog, with pictures of different varieties of tomatoes covering the front. “Yes!” Romano shouted out, and dashed to the door, rummaging and tossing the rest of the mail aside, picking up the catalog like a holy relic. “It’s finally here,” he breathed. He gazed at the cover, running his fingers over the pictures of juicy, plump tomatoes growing in the sun on green stems and vines. His mouth began to water as he walked away from the front door. He needed some place private … now.

He ran through several hallways, opening random doors and cursing under his breath. “Why is it so fucking difficult to find a bathroom in this house?” Finally he opened a door and found a small water closet. “About time,” he growled and went inside slamming the door. He put the lid down on the stool and sat on it, clutching the catalog in his hands and staring at it with devotion. The title of the catalog “Totally Tomatoes” sent shivers throughout his body. Already he could feel warmth spreading out from his abdomen. He blushed when he turned the page and saw more pictures of plump, juicy red tomatoes.

He whispered some of the names of the tomato varieties such as “Italian Goliath,” “Beefmaster,” “Bush Champion” and “Husky Red” as quietly as he could to himself, biting his lip. His hand slid down like it had a mind of its own to the front of his pants, where he was already becoming quite aroused. He turned the page and began to sweat and tremble when he saw names like “Giant Belgium.” “German Head” made him shudder, imagining a tomato wearing leather and carrying a riding crop. He haphazardly rubbed at himself through the fabric of his pants which had become uncomfortably tight. It was finally the variety called “Cuore de Toro” that forced him into action; he unzipped his fly, palmed his fully hard manhood and began to stroke.

The names kept coming … “Polish Linguisa” … “Purple Russian” … “Thessaloniki” … a long, slender paste tomato called “Cream Sausage” made him moan softly. Other paste varieties called “Speckled Roman” and “Roman Candle” threatened to send him over the edge too soon. At the top of one page was the question, “Do you love red?” Romano groaned, stroking himself faster and closing his eyes as visions of big, red, and luscious, juicy plump tomatoes danced around his head.

Romano turned to a section of the catalog that offered books on growing tomatoes too. A title for a book on companion planting especially caught his eye … Carrots Love Tomatoes. “Huh? They do?” Romano mused with a confused air. “How is that even fucking possible? Bastards are lying, no one will buy that book!” But even then, the image of a carrot and tomato getting it on made Romano bite his lip and groan louder than before.

He turned another page with shaky fingers. At the top were the words “YUMMY … TASTY … DELICIOUS …” Romano closed his eyes and stroked faster. In his mind he walked though Spain’s tomato garden on a hot summer afternoon, a beautifully staked vine, the tie backs gently restraining the plant to it’s support nodded seductive branches toward him, waving it’s full, pouting red tomatoes in his face as if to beckon him “Come here Romano … come and eat these, you know you want to …” The catalog slipped from his fingers as he completely lost himself to his fantasy, pure ecstasy written across his face.

The door of the water closet suddenly opened, and Spain’s cheerful voice boomed into the tiny room. “Hey Romano, what are you-“

“AAAAHHHH! CHIGI! What the hell … doesn’t anyone fucking knock?” Romano bellowed at Spain, as he jumped up from the stool and fumbled to pull up his pants.

“Hey Romano, I heard funny noises in here and didn’t know.”

“Shut the hell up, bastard!” Romano stormed out of the water closet and stomped away; his face as red as the cover of the catalog that now lay forgotten and discarded on the bathroom floor; his screams and curses echoed as he disappeared somewhere deep and far away into the large house.

Spain chuckled as he reached for the catalog on the floor and began thumbing through the pages. “Sorry Romano, but this time, I’m going to get to look through this without the pages sticking together.” He whistled cheerfully as he entered the water closet, locking the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a real seed catalog I received in the mail. http://www.totallytomato.com/


End file.
